Yeah, no big deal.
But, now I have to learn some new skills. The main one being --> Patience. This time, it is not anyone else telling me not to touch the manuscript but me. I'm waiting a week, so by this weekend I'll be able to reread the entire book and see how much it royally sucked. Not saying it will suck, but it's entirely possible (though my beta reader would probably say otherwise).
Patience is a hard skill to acquire. If you've never learned how to be patient, now's the time to learn. Now, I speak from experience when I say that learning new things or changing old ones is scary. Trust me, I know.
But, fear doesn't always have to hold us back. It's a natural response to stimuli that trigger a fight-or-flight response... but you don't want the scientific-y side to this, do you? Basically, what I'm saying is it's normal to be scared of new things, whether it's a change of old ways or incorporating new ones. Learning patience scares me a little, but there are plenty of other things I'm scared of.
The main one: my future.
Sure, my goal is to become a physically published author someday, with a real copy of my book in my hands and on book store shelves. What's scary is the uncertainty of that. It could take months, years, or even decades before I even get an agent, much less a publishing contract and bookstore shelf status. And Rejections! I'm aware that there will be plenty of R's, some of which might hurt. Not to mention that it's my dream to get through all that sooner rather than later.
What's a girl to do?
To tell you the truth, I may be an adult now, but I still enjoy childish things. Things such as young adult novels, Harry Potter fandom, and (I know some of you may groan) children's TV networks. Yes, I'm talking Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. While I know both those channels have considerably changed over the years, one thing that has mostly stayed the same is the messages in their movies.
I still watch Disney Channel, usually on a weekly basis at the least, b/c I enjoy the shows. But, every so once in a while, at night I'll turn Disney Channel on to see if there's any good movies on. Being October right now, they were of course showing a Halloween themed movie.
It's their newest DCOM movie, called Girl Vs. Monster. It's about a fearless girl named Skylar, who finds out her parents are monster hunters and has to learn how to overcome her newly-aquired fear-- fifteen years worth-- while trying to recapture her personal monster, Deimata. Throughout the movie, Skylar has struggles with dealing with fear for the first time. The reason she'd been fearless for most of her life was because the one who would bring on that fear, Deimata, was sealed up. Skylar has to learn to overcome all those fears that suddenly hit her, fears very similar to everyone growing up: appearance, confidence, and stage fright.
Think of your personal writing journey fears.
Or any of your fears for that matter.
Just imagine them as a personal monster, like the eternally evil Deimata. If you stay scared of something, your monster will get stronger by feeding on that fear, and that will make it that much more difficult to defeat. So, you have to show that monster who's boss. You need to learn to be FEARLESS. Not necessarily with everything, but if you face off with your fear, you will be stronger in the end.
For me, I need to accept that I can't know exactly what will happen in my future, but I have to have no fear and tell myself that whatever happens, I'm still me.
Quite a lesson from a children's movie, huh?
-Chrissy
PS- This song might help encourage the FEARLESS nature hiding inside you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKQTAr8jp24&feature=related
